Communication, an essential element in any family dynamic, becomes critical in both the anticipation and aftermath of a parent’s death. Open discussions, written instructions and a thorough evaluation of finances, insurance, charitable intentions and living wills can mitigate the natural trauma of loss. The grieving process alone can cause tremendous stress. But, we’ve seen families negotiate this transition smoothly and in complete accordance with their parent’s wishes. We’ve also seen families struggle to regain their bearings, and still others torn apart by conflicting opinions and misinformation. We advise our clients to keep their families informed throughout the accumulation and withdrawal phases of their retirement journey. Not all families are comfortable sharing this information in an open familial forum, so we also suggest specific instructions in the form of a letter. Healthcare directives, a list of assets and liabilities, password and logins to online accounts, life insurance and long term care policies, deposit box and key locations, stock certificates, and key personnel contact information including lawyers, accountants and financial advisors should be listed in the letter, which can be safely stored in your home safe or with a trusted advisor. You can include additional information regarding any personal wishes you have, charitable organizations to which you’d like to donate, valued items your family may not consider and any thoughts you may have regarding your funeral in the letter as well. Once you’ve written the letter, and we suggest you do this as soon as possible, remember to review it annually and update it as needed. Lastly, please remember to let the significant people in your life know where you’ve stored your letter. Imagine the tragedy of no one ever knowing your carefully written plans even exist. It happens. A letter of instruction serves as a reassurance to you that your family will carry out your final wishes. It is also the kindest thing you can do for your family members, who… | Read More »

I’m certain that by even reading this, you are aware that money is a very important and sometimes scary topic to broach before the “I do’s”.   You’ve heard it before but I’ll say it again … you most definitely want to talk money before marriage.  It does not get easier to discuss once you’re hitched and it is just good common sense to know about your intended’s money language, money comprehension and money fitness. This is the second installment of our P.E.C.K. pre-wedding money conversations!  Our first installment spoke of the “P’s” – Practical.  This installment is on the “E’s” – Emotional. As I wrote in the last installment, we have to remember that everyone grows up differently and both of your money needs, expectations and desires are so important to explore together.  So, let’s talk about the top seven emotional money matter questions to ask your intended before the “I do’s”. 1)      How did your family deal with money? Many of our money habits are born from what we experienced in our household growing up. Some are great habits and some simply do harm.  For that reason, this is a very important question to ask each other.  No shame.  No “mine were better than yours”, rather, a frank discussion of how money worked in your household growing up and what you liked about it … and what you didn’t like about it.  Then, ask your fiancé the same.  I guarantee that, at the least, you will have more money insight into your fiancé and, at the most, you will know what your fiancé can not abide ~ or in other words, what money behavior will cause a big fight.  That’s good to know going in! 2)      How have you dealt with money in the past?  I would highly suggest asking each other what has worked and why you want to keep working that way.  In addition, it’s important to discuss the money mistakes… | Read More »